Space Invaders

I’ve been living alone in this huge two story villa for 4 weeks now and finally the love of my life has returned (with some family members in tow), to brighten my life and prevent me from going “Island Crazy” without them. A welcome invasion of this huge empty space, if ever there was.

So, Fiona and “bubindabelly”, arrived about 2pm in the arvo and I picked them up “quick-az” on the scooter in an absolute flash. I was in and out the airport quicker than a teenage boy in a brothel.

And speaking of space invaders, Fiona’s arrival at the villa must have been like being visited by aliens from another planet, when she walked in the door, right into the waiting open arms of…

A 60 year old American man…in his underpants!

My next door neighbour, John. He’s a nice guy with a big heart but, an even bigger pair of y-fronts. His heart is definitely in the right place, but his underpants are usually not (up around his neck).

So we talked, swam…and looked away every time he climbed in and out the pool.

About 11pm that evening, I picked up Fiona’s Entourage (mother Irene, sister Stephanie and niece, Candy). Only this time, I was in a cab with our Bali Taxi driver friend, Gede, so we were in and out the airport slower than a 40 yr old Bigfoot enthusiast losing his virginity.

So, ’tis the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature is stirring except...the hacking cough and moonlight twinkling of a sixty-year old man bobbing for Xanax.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Check out our new digs!

MOONLIGHT VILLAS

I thought I’d post a few pics of our new digs, in Seminyak. The best part is, everything is already included in the rent. Electricity, satellite tv, internet, maid service and pool cleaning, all at no extra cost! AND…we even have monogramed towels, fantastic water pressure and HOT WATER! I can hardly wait to live in it!

Oh, wait…I already am! 🙂

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Movin’ on up!

Today I moved all of our stuff out of our villa in Kerobokan, and moved on in to our new villa in Seminyak. The owner of our previous villa is doing renovations, so it’s out onto the street for us! I managed to fit just about everything we had into a cab, all except my writing desk and chair. So, I just did what any ordinary Balinese person would do…

Strap it to my scooter!!

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And, in case you were wondering…yes, that is in fact my leather belt. Relax my love, that sh*t ain’t goin’ nowhere!

Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

Well, day one on my own & they finally get the swimming pool back into action. Just in time before I move us out to a new villa in Seminyak, in a few days time. That’s timing for ya. But just as well, it took me a good couple hours to clean up & deflate all our lilo’s. Hot work, I tells ya.

And today, while waiting to change my address at the bank, I’m experiencing a delicious BLT baguette, that fell apart quicker than Doctor Murray’s alibi.

And opposite me, this bizarre signage…

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Which I presume, is some kind of reference to Atticus Finch from To Kill A Mockingbird (yes Fiona, I’ve read it), but surely your business logo should at least be a live bird and not a “dead duck”.

Only in Bali…(& possibly the US).