…So, you don’t look like a loser.
1. Look repeatedly at your watch, like you’re expecting company at any minute.
2. Ask thought provoking questions to the waiter such as, “what kind of paper is this menu printed on?” Or…“where do babies come from?”
3. Scribble notes on a small notepad after every mouthful, and alternate between nodding and shaking your head slightly.
4. Eat the bread, and when you’re done with that…order more bread. (Rinse and repeat)
5. Avoid eye contact with every other person in the restaurant (if you can’t see them, they don’t exist).
(NB: Please note that performing some or all of these things, may not actually work. No matter what you do, eating alone in a restaurant, you will always look like a loser.) – JPB