…So you don’t look like a loser.
1. Learn a new language, like…morse code or semaphore.
2. Pretend to be blind.
3. Address everyone you speak to as Malcolm. “Thank you, Malcolm”, “Good Evening, Malcolm”. “Malcolm, how are you?”
4. Fake…Tourette syndrome.
5. Build a fort from as many tablecloths and empty chairs that you can find.
6. Leave your ID and wallet at home. (A great crowd pleaser).
7. Tell everyone you’re an expectant father!
(NB: Please note that performing some or all of these things, may not actually work. No matter what you do, eating alone in a restaurant, you will always look like a loser. Except for the last one, maybe) – JPB